Match Report| Tottenham 4-0 Everton

A trip to London to face Spurs after 3 straight defeats didn’t make for good reading, and deep down we were all staring a 4th straight loss in the face. We’re always shit down in the capital and this one certainly lived up to expectation. A quick word on Wembley as well, what a shit football stadium that is, no atmosphere whatsoever and as for our end, well you could hear a pin drop.

Allardyce handed Cenk Tosun his debut, which really is lashing him in the deep end, and putting him at risk of being written off on Twitter by Paul from Runcorn who still thinks Naismith should lead the line and that Cahill could do a job. Martina was still in the back four which is worrying cos we’re 2 weeks into January and we’ve not been linked with a left back. It’s not his fault by any means but he’s shit and he needs swerving. Jagielka was preferred over Williams which I don’t understand cos when Williams has played alongside Holgate, we’ve won the majority of our games. Our record signing and attacking midfielder was left mid. Fuck off Allardyce. What I don’t get is how Lookman was boss at Anfield last Friday yet he’s rewarded with a seat on the bench and Bolasie gets a start and he’s still not even match fit.

The first half wasn’t bad in all honesty, and when I say “not bad” I mean we only conceded 1. We defended alright and Tosun put himself about, giving about 7 fouls away and nearly grabbing himself an assist from a SigurĂ°sson corner which was disallowed for offside.

They went 1-0 up after 26 minutes after an absolute calamity in our back line. I don’t even want to describe what happened but what I will say is, it occurred down our left side and Son was the scorer. Spurs were giving the ball away sloppily at times but us being us couldn’t capitalise cos we don’t know what attacking football is. What’s the point in buying a striker when we can’t even utilise him properly?

Half time. 1-0. Such a boring half of football but we were still in it. That feeling lasted 2 minutes when Son turned away from Kenny, who shouldn’t have dived in in the first place, and his shot/cross resulted in Harry Kane, who was about half a mile offside, sweeping it home. 2-0. Game over.

Bolasie summed the whole game up when he tried to do some sort of skill for his #TrickTuesday for Instagram but it ended up with him passing it out of play under no pressure whatsoever. He was subbed for Lennon minutes later. Nob’ed.

Kane made it 3 on the hour when he tapped home another cross and it was well and truly game over. Just like watching us under Koeman all over again this. Shite. So I got off.

They got a 4th but I didn’t care at this point cos I was on the train and I just wanted to get home. I’m sick of us being shitbags away from home. Allardyce came out with a very worrying quote on the radio on the way home, “we need to be more boring”. Is the man off his head? If 5 shots on target in 6 games and none in 2018 isn’t boring then I don’t know what is. Stupid bisto guzzling bulb head.

West Brom at Goodison next weekend then. A huge game and if Alan Pardew comes away from there with anything then I’ll eat me season ticket. West Brom are shit and shouldn’t be a footy team but I feel like we’re turning into them. Looking forward to us somehow being even more boring than we already are, if it’s possible.

@joewhitehead__

About The Author