Whimper At Wolves


A Monday night trip to Wolves was next for the out-of-form Everton and the fact nearly everyone I knew had no confidence in us whatsoever pretty much summed up the night and is a horrible sign of what it’s like trying to support them at the moment. Growing pressure not only on the manager but the hierarchy too was mounting. A win tonight would ease said pressure somewhat, but with the lack of squad depth we’ve got, it was always going to be a big ask.

Wolves had had an awful start to the season but went into this one five unbeaten, so it was a complete contrast in confidence and positivity.

No left-back and a bench consisting of two goalkeepers and no under 23 players is also a good insight into how well the club is doing at the moment. Surely there are lads in that youth squad who’d give 110% for ninety minutes. The players that are starting now haven’t got any competition so no matter how much effort they give, they know they’ll be starting next week.

Before the game even started I was wondering what on earth was going on. The players walked out to a light show, flame cannons and Kanye West blasting out of the speakers to generate an atmosphere. It felt like I was at an elaborate fairground, and I’d give me season ticket up if Everton ever adopted anything similar to that. The siren’s enough. Two minutes later, the players were standing around the centre circle whilst someone played The Last Post. Talk about a change in moods.

The first half was, to put it mildly, shite. Nineteen years of attending Everton games and that was up there with one of the worst halves of football I’ve ever witnessed. Iwobi looked lost, Holgate was non-existent, Gbamin looked very much like he hadn’t played a game in two years, all of which meant the front 3 didn’t get a look in. The only good thing was Pickford pulling off two

We got let off when they had one ruled out for offside, and you’d have thought that it might have acted as a warning sign. It didn’t. They went 1-0 thanks to a lad no one’s ever heard of scoring his first-ever goal for Wolves at the 23rd time of asking. *inserts time for Everton meme*

It was 2-0 soon after. Godfrey played a gorgeous through ball for Jimenez to run on to and dink it over Pickford. I spent the rest of the first half in the concourse.

We looked better in the second half, though. When I say better, what I mean is that we were still bad, just not as bad as the first forty-five minutes. Dare I say it but Fabian Delph was our best player. *hides*. Iwobi pulled one back to make it 2-1, but even after that, we didn’t really look like getting anything else, and it would’ve been harsh on Wolves who could have scored five or six in the first half alone. Gordon had a header from a corner brilliantly saved by their keeper towards the end but that was that.

A third straight loss for Benitez, who’ll no doubt have people calling for his head. The only problem is that he was Moshiri’s choice, even after the fans voiced their opinions, so he’ll be staying with us until we get relegated. I’m beginning to wonder whether it isn’t the manager’s fault. Obviously, he has to take some of the blame for not starting Gordon who was the best player on the pitch against Watford and setting the team up to defend and have 38% possession all game, but some of the players are stealing a living. I hate picking out individuals but Alex Iwobi is (apparently) a thirty million pound player, yet plays as if he’s in the local park. Seamus Coleman has one good game a month, and the middle of midfield looks lost without Doucoure. It’s as if they can only be arsed trying when we’re playing well.

We haven’t played particularly well all season. We had to go 1-0 down against Southampton and Burnley to get a result, Norwich is pathetic anyway, West Ham played us off the park, and that Watford game needs to be put at the back of the history books. The only game this season where I can think we looked comfortable was against Brighton. We were boss that day, but other than that we haven’t been anywhere near amazing.

Too many people expect Everton to be finishing in Europe every season, but the reality is that we’re absolutely miles off it. We’ve got no money and a squad with no depth. Europe would kill us. No manager in the world would do anything with this Everton side because we’ve spent the last few years paying world-class prices and offering world-class contracts to bang average players. The club needs clearing out before it can rebuild, and it’s going to take longer than 6 months and a dead transfer window to sort it.

The club is on its arse at the moment, but the away ends are full no matter when or where the match is on. The only positive at Everton at the moment is that fans. We’re all mad for doing it, but nothing will stop us, not even an ex-Kopite managing them.

Spurs on Sunday, who are probably worse than us, but have conveniently just appointed one of the best managers in the world which is the most Everton thing ever.

Up the Toffees anyway

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