Jordon Pickford – 6/7
Could’ve been double figures but for some of the saves he made. Conceding 5 goals inevitably makes the keeper look shite but he played half decent and made some boss saves. I really do feel sorry for him, he should be playing at the top.
Michael Keane – 5
Phil Jagielka – 5
Ashley Williams – 5
Don’t really know what to say about the centre halves to be honest. All they had to do was clatter into Sanchez/Lacazette early on and they’d have had them in their pocket. Arsenal are a bunch of shitbags and they don’t like it if someone smashes them but instead they let them play their own game and inevitably got legged all over the gaff. Bang average. All of them.
Jonjoe Kenny – 6
Was made up to see him starting. Didn’t have the support of a winger and had to manage the wing on his own. Didn’t do bad and got stuck in a few times. Didn’t get a sniff going forward but then again the whole team didn’t.
Leighton Baines – 5
Baines is Baines isn’t he. His legs are slowly going on him and it breaks me heart cos he’s one of my all-time favourite players but he simply can’t manage the whole left side anymore. Didn’t stand out as being shit though.
Gylfi Sigurðsson – 5
Didn’t do anything that proved his worth. He’s had a terrible start to his Everton career and today was just the same. I don’t know where he was meant to be playing today but I doubt he even knew where he was playing.
Idrissa Gueye – 7
Him and Pickford were our best players. One conceded 5 and Gueye got sent off hahahahaha, that’s how bad we really were. Gueye was the only one who had a go at Arsenal which is why he got his red card off referee, Alexis Sanchez.
Nikola Vlasic – 6
Dead quiet today, tried to be positive and run at their midfield/defence but they closed him down too quickly for him to cause any damage. He’ll be the first name on the teamsheet soon though, he’s boss.
Wayne Rooney – 7
Scored a boss goal, played a few incisive passes but was far too slow getting back and helping out. But like Baines, he isn’t as fit as he was a few years ago and that’s not his fault, Koeman asks him to do his job but he shouldn’t be starting every game.
Dominic Calvert-Lewin – 6
Won a lot of headers but again, the Arsenal defence had him contained and didn’t allow him to do what he’s capable of. Sparks of class with a few boss touches and turns but like the whole team, didn’t cause any problems.
Tom Davies – 6
Didn’t look bad when he came on, didn’t stand out but didn’t do anything silly and played his game. Thought he might have injected more creativity but didn’t get the chance to do so. Had to change his game when Gueye got sent off.
Ademola Lookman – 6
Came on after their 3rd with 15 minutes left. What was he gonna do? Tried to run at their defence but the game was lost by then and the majority of our players had given up by then. Should have came on earlier and needs to start at Leicester next week.
Oumar Niasse – 6
Came on with Lookman and bagged himself a goal, which is quite ironic because it’s surely the last goal Koeman will ever see as Everton manager. This coming after Koeman telling Niasse he wasn’t good enough and to find a new club. Definitely not the answer to our troubles though.